Countdown
by I'm sorry but no
Summary: 11:27 Half an hour and everything changes Twenty minuets until I break down Fifteen minuets until i read this Ten minuets until we waltz out of childhood Five minuets until the door opens 3 minuets until I'm bombarded 1 minuet to make it count 12:00 "Happy Birthday to me I guess"


This is the rambling running through my head as of right now and this is what happened as my impending birthday rolled around

This is intentionally ambiguous in order to be used for any character and any sex from any time. I hope you enjoy it and feel free to comment or fav as your please (but it is my actual birthday so yeah it would kind of make my day if you did (not that you have to be any means))

11:27

Half an hour

Half an hour and everything changes

Half an hour and I wont be young anymore

Half an hour and I'll be like everyone else

I'll be older

(Presumably wiser)

I'll understand the world around me

(I'll care)

I'll take responsibility

(I'll be given responsibility)

I'll have a voice

(I'll have a voice worth listening to)

11:29

Half an hour until the weight of the world begins to rest upon me

Half an hour until I am no longer a child

11:30

Half an hour until I must become something else

Half an hour until I must be attuned to the world around me

Half an hour until I stop all this "existential bullshit"

Half an hour

Half an hour until I have work to think about

Half an hour until I take a shower

(Until I cleanse the year away)

Half an hour until the next chapter begins

(Until I take my pen and write it my own story)

Half an hour to be babied

(Be considered a child)

Half an hour until I start thinking about the future

Half an hour until I question myself

(And everything around me)

Half an hour until the world makes no sense

Half an hour until I begin to see

(Things around me for what they truly are)

Half an hour until I shed this skin

(Until I glisten with the subtle skin of the year)

11:34

Half an hour until I go to sleep

Half an hour until my medicine wears off

Half an hour until I watch my dog sleep

(Five seconds until she jumps from the sound of my shoe hitting the floor)

Half an hour until I give her a kiss

Half and hour until my mother comes into my room to wish my a good year

Half an hour until she thinks I'm asleep so she can look at me

Half an hour until the thoughts racing in my head run free

11:37

Half an hour

Half an hour until the next stage

Half an hour until I take the stage

(And find out if I like it)

Half an hour until the existential crisis begins

(Until I decide on my career)

Half an hour to back out

Half an hour to say no to my decisions

(And perhaps regret them)

11:39

Twenty minuets

Twenty minuets until I break down

(Cry a little at the loss of this year)

Twenty minuets until I am forced to become a doll again

(Something pretty made to be looked at but never touched, never spoken to)

Twenty minuets until I can voice my own opinion

Twenty minuets until I turn off the lights

Twenty minuets until I stop my reflections

(Until I shatter the mirror)

Twenty minuets until I'm that much closer

(Until it's two more years to the next big deal)

Twenty minuets until it gets closer

11:43

Fifteen minuets

Fifteen minuets until I read this

Fifteen minuets until I post this

(Until I read it once I post it)

Fifteen minuets until I force myself to not edit

Fifteen minuets until I make myself accept the imperfections

Fifteen minuets until I like them

(Until I make them my strengths)

Fifteen minuets until I get inspired

11:45

Fifteen minuets until I stop making excuses

Fifteen minuets until I tell the truth

(Until I find the truth)

Fifteen minuets until I run away

(To a place far within myself)

Fifteen minuets until I make the most important work of my life

Fifteen minuets until I decide what to make

(And with whom to make it with)

Fifteen minuets until I'm no longer anxious

Fifteen minuets until I force myself to not be anxious

11:47

Fifteen minuets until I text my brother

Fifteen minuets until we share in the glory of the day

Fifteen minuets until we celebrate the day

Fifteen minuets until he makes a decision

(Until he celebrates his on his own)

Fifteen minuets until he starts his traditions

(Until he does his ritual)

11:49

Ten minuets

Ten minuets until we waltz out of childhood

(Out of the buffering year in between)

Ten minuets until we stand on our own two feet

(Until we stand like deer for the first time)

Ten minuets

11:51

Ten minuets until I stop obsessing

(Until I relax)

Ten minuets until I start meditating

Ten minuets until I search myself for my strength

(Power, motivation, confidence)

Ten minuets until the hand moves

(Until the two are next to one another)

Ten minuets until they too are one

Ten minuets until the separation begins

(Until they two share the moment)

Ten minuets until the day is born

(And the last rots away)

Ten minuets until one is forgotten

(And another is written as a history)

Ten minuets until someone wins the gold

Ten minuets until someone looses everything

11:55

Five minuets

Five minuets until the door opens

(And another closes)

Five minuets until I learn how to spell

(And maybe remember how to this time)

Five minuets until something beautiful is created

Five minuets until the day is mine

(Until I share it with my brother)

Five minuets until my father and sister call

(Until they reassure me that they want to be here)

Five minuets until I'm comfortable

(Myself, body, spirit, soul)

11:57

Three minuets

Three minuets until I'm bombarded

(Until I'm hit from all sides by reality)

11:58

Two minuets

Two minuets until I must face the world

11:59

One minuet

One minuet to make count

One minuet until this moment is cemented down

(Forever encased in the world)

One minuet to change everything

One minuet to stay the same

12:00

Happy birthday to me I guess


End file.
